It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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