Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
