i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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