i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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