will power is for people who don't want to get laid
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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