Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
