We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
