it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
