i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
