And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
