so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
