Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize