you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
