The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
