He disabled his match.com account in front of me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
