I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
