Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize