somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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