I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
