I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
