We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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