I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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