Can i not drive my cunt home
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
His nipple licking is glorious
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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