So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
