ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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