Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
