hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize