Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Walk of Shame today included voting.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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