what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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