I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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