I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
