You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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