He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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