Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love having hate sex.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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