did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
