WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
