I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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