Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
