Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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