only you would photoshop your dick
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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