well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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