dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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