Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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