turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
