We're facebook friends in real life
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
