someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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