For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
