I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize