he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize