thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
