It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
