All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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