He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
