I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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