Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't deserve a penis
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
