you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
