Pappa wants mamma naked
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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