did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
