he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
