she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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