am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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