PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
