I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
