id be glad to
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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