He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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