then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
