So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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