there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
